You goddamn hippies are all the same. While you were out trying to save a tree from being cut down, I suffered through a huge forehead tumor, then had a crisis of confidence when I met a woman that just may be the Love of My Life! But where were you when I needed you? Out eating granola and swimming with dolphins. Fuck's sake!

Well, needless to say, so much has changed in my life in just a few short weeks...I think I might be pregnant.

But who cares? If--big IF--you are interested here's a photo of my new gal. Lovely, ain't she?