Oh, seen this yet? Not only is this hilarious, but it's the best song Bowie has written in more than 20 years...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iQG_UOuqlM0&mode=related&search=

You goddamn hippies are all the same. While you were out trying to save a tree from being cut down, I suffered through a huge forehead tumor, then had a crisis of confidence when I met a woman that just may be the Love of My Life! But where were you when I needed you? Out eating granola and swimming with dolphins. Fuck's sake!

Well, needless to say, so much has changed in my life in just a few short weeks...I think I might be pregnant.

But who cares? If--big IF--you are interested here's a photo of my new gal. Lovely, ain't she?

jon (i'll address you directly because you're for sure the only one reading this) -

sorry i've been MIA. no need to alert the authorities.

i have to talk about this show on lifetime (the only show i've ever watched on lifetime, i swear!) called 'lisa williams: life among the dead.' it follows this woman named lisa who is a psychic/medium/clairvoyant/british person as she does readings for people and investigates possible hauntings. what she does - the things she sees and hears from the spirit world - are truly amazing. i want to meet this woman. i want her to channel some people for me. i got some questions for some people.

seriously though, how incredible would it be to hear from someone you love who doesn't live on the earth anymore? and think about what this all says about what happens after people die. they don't just go away. not all of them, at least. they can stick around and communicate with us. and they all say they don't feel any pain and they're happier now. (actually, there are some angry ones, too.) so where are they? in what form do they exist? can they help guide us if we learn how to be open to their guidance? i have so many questions. it's all very exciting to me. i don't know what i believe about death. i don't have a strong belief in heaven or in nothingness or in anything, really. but watching this show sort of helps me. meeting this woman would help me even more.

anyway - maybe none of this makes sense because i'm watching 'friends' while i write. i've seen this episode at least twice, but i just can't turn it off. i'm gonna make myself a chocolate chip waffle in the toaster and call it a night. i'm not even going to read what i just wrote, so forgive any mistakes. i hate mistakes.

- ama